One of the most difficult aspects of my unplanned cesarean was missing the golden hour.

The golden hour is the time immediately following birth when mother and baby bond through breast feeding, skin-to-skin, and other contact that promotes a secure attachment and a positive flow of bonding chemicals and hormones.

This biologically critical time is lost when mother and baby are separated directly after birth as a result of birth interventions like cesarean.

Many women who experience cesarean and subsequent separation from their baby, feel a deep sense of grief and loss having missed out on this powerful moment.

RECOVERING BIRTH HORMONES

There is a chemical and biological explanation for the harm and grief that come from separating mother and baby after birth: skin-to-skin during golden hour is “one of the main ways that oxytocin and other bonding hormones are released post-birth is via skin-to-skin with a gooey, messy baby.” All of the smells, sensations, and the baby’s suckling on moms breast stimulate these important hormones. (source: How to Heal a Bad Birth)

For example, prolactin is stimulated by the baby’s suckling. It’s the hormone that’s responsible for milk let-down and supply longevity. Oxytocin, the hormone that stimulates contractions and helps dilate the cervix, is also the hormone that helps mother and baby bond.

If a birthing person did not experience labor, or their labor was interrupted by birth interventions, the release of oxytocin may have been inhibited, making it more difficult to bond. If they also miss prolonged skin-to-skin contact during the golden hour, prolactin may be inhibited, causing breastfeeding challenges.

The Ceremony

The Rebirthing Ceremony is a sacred bath you may take with your baby to recreate the golden hour and the “birth pause” (the moment right after the baby is born when the mother first looks at the baby).

Rebirthing can give you an opportunity to reclaim the moments that you lost, and it can help stimulate some of the hormones that were interrupted.

Background

From what I’ve read, Rebirthing originated as a way to stimulate breastfeeding or resolve latch issues, especially if mother and baby were separated directly after birth. It is commonly recommended by lactation consultants because bathing with your baby triggers some of the newborn reflexes like the breast crawl and latching. It also helps release some of the hormones that I refer to above.

WHEN TO USE THIS CEREMONY

Baby’s first birthday is often filled with anxiety and grief for mothers recovering from birth trauma. Instead of having a party, consider focusing that day on your Rebirthing Ceremony. (You can host your baby’s party on another day - after all, baby’s birthday is also your BIRTHday.)

You could make this ceremony an annual tradition on baby’s birthday. Mother’s Day is also an emotional day for some mothers, so it can be a powerful antidote to any sadness that comes up.

Setting Up

Rebirthing can be done in a bath or pool, ideally at home or in a private, quiet place where you won’t be bothered. The bath should be a temperature appropriate for baby (100F / 38C). If you can safely heat the bathroom, you should do that as well. You want to keep yourself and baby comfortable.

To prepare, in the bathroom or wherever the tub is located, create the environment you wanted for your birth: dim the lights, light candles, play serene music and add whatever environmental touches you longed for in your birth.

MUSIC

If there was a specific music playlist that you created for your labor, you can choose to use that for your ceremony. Or if you were working with hypnobirthing audio tracks, you could play those. Use whatever is going to help you relax and connect with the birthing energy. If you don’t have a playlist, feel free to use mine on Spotify.

SACRED OBJECTS

Include any objects that you created for your birth — items from your birthing altar, written affirmations, art, or any other special things you did to prepare for birth or intended to use during your birth.

I’ve included here a few pieces of art I created during my pregnancy and leading up to my birth. I was unable to look at these for many, many months, but also couldn’t throw them away. They had such a charge and were so triggering. The Ceremony gives me a place to repurpose them.

If you knew you were having a cesarean and never planned to labor, consider gathering the objects you would have liked to have present for your birth - or create them in anticipation of your ceremony.

You might feel pain around the objects you intended to use for your birth. Including these objects in this ceremony can help mitigate the grief and reclaim them as part of your healing process.